A HOT BEEF INJECTION @ Huxtaburger

To go with the burger theme we're running with right now, I thought I'd start things of with one of Melbourne's dude food friendly eateries, Huxtaburger.  

 Chef and owner of Huxtaburger and Huxtable, Daniel Wilson is obviously a big Cosby Show fan. When ordering your burger, you can choose from; the Denise, the Rudy, the Huxtaburger or the Bills.  I thought this was the greatest idea ever.

I must have been the last person in Melbourne to get to Huxtaburger on Smith Street, and my short-lived pescaterianism was halted when I made a visit to the burger bar a few days ago. It's a good budget-friendly alternative to Huxtaburger's older brother restaurant Huxtable, which sits watching a very loyal crowd pile into the burger bar from across the road.

Huxtaburger exemplifies the 'dude food' movement that is currently lining Melbournes' stomachs, and I wasn't disappointed. This is THE place to go for a serious intake of iron, and you're going to feel it for a good few hours afterwards. Sure, they may appear all fancy with their brioche buns and wagyu patties, but that's where the wankiness ends, and the classic burger appears in all it's juicy, calorific glory.

 'The Theo'

Not wanting to half-ass the experience, I ordered the 'Theo', which goes the whole way with two beef patties, bacon and cheese on a fantastically orange brioche bun. I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to call a burger 'amazing' but I've certainly had my share of bad ones, and the Theo was pretty great. Without being excessively oily, the wagyu patties were fat and juicy, and had just enough cheese, bacon and barbeque sauce to keep the classic burger combination interesting. The crinkle cut chips (how retro!) were really good; just enough crunch to make a satisfying side. My friend got the eateries namesake menu item, 'The Huxtaburger' which is the restaurant's take on the classic burger, and although she had trouble eating it (I love watching people struggle with food), she seemed to dig hers a lot too.

I'm not sure if my photos truly capture how wonderful these burgers looked when they arrived (forgive me, I'm still practicing) but I'm not exaggerating; they are the burgers you dream about when you get crazy, insatiably hungry. I think I even took a picture for my instagram account- they looked that good. Make no mistake, in the flesh, these burgers are beautiful things.  

Staff were surprisingly friendly for peak hour in this popular and hip Melbourne eatery. The wait time for a table wasn't long for 6.30 on a Tuesday night, I think we were there for about five minutes before something came up outside. However, by the time we left, people were falling out of the shop, and lining up against the outside window because there wasn't enough room to wait inside. Once we'd ordered, we had a short, but not too short wait for our meals.

'The Huxtaburger' came perfectly stacked. 

All up, I paid $17.50 for the burger, a small chips and coke. Realistically, $17 is a lot to pay for a burger and fries, but the meat was delicious, the vibe was easy and if i can get change from a crisp 20, I'm really not complaining. By themselves, the burgers range from $8- $11.

 
HUXTABURGER
106 Smith Street, Collingwood

Cost: $17.50
Table waiting time: Less then 10 minutes.
Food waiting time: Around 15 minutes.
Good for: Catching up with friends, dates with long term partners (don't come here on a first date, no one looks sexy manovering a burger around their mouth) or a quick bite by yourself if you get in early. As there is no meat-free burger option, your vegetarian or vegan friends probably won't like this place as much as I did, unless their eating morals are as flaky as my own.